Where do we go from here?
by JLCH
Summary: A post "Moving the Chains" fic with some major changes. House doesn't show up for work and Cuddy wants to know why. When she finds out, what follows changes everything.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I'm still working on the lengthy multi-chap fic "Confession is good for the soul" but as I said before, sometimes short fics can be a nice break and very inspirational to the writing process.

In the Huddy world, House would've been injured when Lucas tripped him in the cafeteria and when Cuddy found out about it, she would've dropped Lucas like a hot potato.

* * *

_House and Wilson are in the cafeteria discussing who might be pranking them. As they're walking, House suddenly trips and lands sprawled out on the floor, face down. He shifts and looks behind him and at that moment a guy reading a newspaper at a table nearby turns around to face him.  
_

_Lucas.  
_

_Oh I'm sorry," he said. "Was my leg sticking out? I'm so distracted lately, trying to think of something funnier than fire sprinklers going off in the middle of the night. Any ideas?"_

_House struggles to get up, when he does, he holds his cane as if he was going to hit Lucas with it._

_"Whoa, easy there, tiger. I know where you live. You know how I know?" He asked with a fake laugh. "Cause my girlfriend and I – we tried to buy that very same condo."_

_House tries to look innocent. "Why don't you leave me out of this? Wilson was the one who bought the place."_

_"And you're living there. You... deserve to suffer equally."_

_"Actually, I suffered more now that you just tripped me."_

_Wilson interrupts them. "Hey, hey, I..I'm..."  
_

_Talking to House, Lucas motions towards Wilson. "His suffering will equal out because he actually feels remorse."_

_"Why would you out yourself? You can't even imagine the retribution?"_

_"Oh, there won't be any. I am ceasing all offensive operations. I have both made my point and established my superiority. And if you even get to the planning stages of retaliation, I will tell Cuddy that she lost her dream place to you two. See, she's under this odd impression that you guys are her friends," he said smugly. Then he walked away leaving them stunned in silence. _

* * *

It was late afternoon on Thursday and Cuddy was standing at the nurse's station in the clinic. She saw House's name on the roster and as usual he was nowhere to be found.

"Great," she muttered. "I've got to chase him down again."

Just as she turned around, she ran into Taub signing in at the reception desk.

"Dr. Cuddy."

"Dr. Taub, I didn't see your name on the roster."

"Wilson asked me to take over for House today."

"And _where_ is House?"

"I have no idea."

"Since when is Dr. Wilson your boss?"

"I have no idea; can I uh...go now? I've got a grandmother with crabs waiting for me."

Taken back by his unusual response, she simply replied,"lovely," as Taub scurried off. Cuddy marched toward the elevator on a mission. She was tired of House having people take up his slack. She reached the fourth floor and entered the Diagnostics Conference room and found it empty as was House's office. She stormed into Wilson's office without knocking.

"What the _hell_, Wilson?"

"What?" Wilson looked up from his charts.

"You sent _Taub_ to do House's clinic duty? Where is he? His team?"

"Thirteen and Foreman are helping Cameron in the ER."

"And House?"

"He wasn't feeling well today."

"Really. Why didn't he call?" She asked angrily, standing there with her arms crossed, glaring at him.

"He asked me to let you know. I got busy and forgot," he said casually.

"I'm tired of him blowing off his clinic duty."

Wilson laughed. "Cuddy, he's been doing it for years."

"And that makes it okay?"

Wilson sighed. "Cuddy, I'm sure he'll be back in a few days."

"What's wrong with him?"

"He…uh...he hurt his leg."

"What? How?"

"Don't worry about it Cuddy. How is not important. He'll be fine," Wilson assured her.

"Wilson, you don't need to protect him. I know he's been drinking more than usual lately. You really think I don't know that's not coffee in his coffee mug?"

Wilson sat back in his chair and looked up at her. "Cuddy, you've got your own life with Rachel and..._Lucas_," he said with a tone of disgust. "Why do _you_ care where House is or what he's doing?"

"It's my hospital and I care what goes on around here."

"Oh, that's right, how could I forget?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. "It's _always_ about the hospital with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She glared at him.

Wilson hesitated a moment. He wanted to yell at her and tell her how much of an idiot she was and how much she'd hurt House but he knew she'd never believe him, she'd just tell him he was upset because she wouldn't give his best friend the time of day. Instead of engaging Cuddy any further, he just wanted an end to the conversation.

"Cuddy, is there anything else? I'm busy," he motioned towards the papers on his desk.

She sighed and her shoulders slumped. "No. Just...when you talk to House, tell him to get sober and get his ass in here or else." She turned sharply and walked away.

* * *

A few hours later, Cuddy was packing up her things to head home when her cell phone rang. She smiled when she saw the name on the caller ID.

"Hi Lucas," she answered.

"Hey Lise, just wanted to let you know I'm working late."

"You coming by later?"

"Maybe. I'll call you."

"Okay."

"Everything alright? You sound stressed."

"Oh it's fine, just the usual."

"Let me guess. House?" Lucas asked with sarcasm.

"He didn't come in today, didn't call and let me know. I should have known he'd revert back to his old ways."

"Well you've known for years he's an ass. He's just getting back at you because you chose me over him." He said smugly.

She frowned at him over the phone. "Lucas, it _wasn't_ a contest," she said.

He just laughed. "Did you really think he'd change?"

"I'd hoped," she said sadly.

"Screw it. Listen, he's not your problem anymore, let Wilson worry about him."

"I care about him, he was my friend." The word _was_ came out before she could think. Is it true? Were they no longer friends? _Were we ever even really friends?_ She wondered to herself.

Lucas interrupted her thoughts. "I don't know why, he treats you like crap. Let him go Lisa. Don't get sucked into whatever crap he's gotten himself into."

"I don't know...I guess," she said hesitantly.

"Atta girl. I'll call you later."

"Bye Lucas."

Cuddy left the hospital thinking back to what Lucas said about House not being her problem anymore. She cared about House, not just as an employee but as a person; though things had cooled off quite a bit since he found out about Lucas. The distance was even more obvious after the prank she'd played on him at Thanksgiving. She still felt guilty about sending him on a wild goose chase, but she was sure that he would find a way to intrude upon her and Lucas and once again, manage to make everyone around him as miserable as he was. For one day she wanted to be free of his asinine behavior. Of course, that prank didn't stop him because that night he'd broken into Lucas's apartment and declared his undying love for her. Since she confronted him the next day, everything had been different. They no longer played the games and engaged in the banter that was the crux of their relationship for so many years, and she missed it dearly.

_Did we even have a relationship?_ She thought to herself. Yes, they did. It was crazy, screwed up, completely inappropriate and dysfunctional and somehow it worked. She knew he was still upset about her relationship with Lucas but she hoped he wouldn't be stupid enough to go back to his self destructive ways. She wanted them to be friends but wasn't sure if House could handle that.

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't even realized until she'd arrived, that she was on her way to House's apartment instead of her house. She pulled up outside the Newport style apartment building and turned off the ignition. Both his motorcycle and car were parked out front. She'd calmed down since she left the hospital, now she just wanted to know what happened to House. She slowly emerged from the car, took a deep breath and made her way to the front door.

* * *

Well, there goes the first chapter. I'd written one extremely long chapter to start and then realized I could divided it up which means there's two more chapters already written, just needing a bit of editing.

Please leave your comments, they are very important to me!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks for sticking with this. I've got some things to do today like working on my homemade Christmas & Hanukkah cards! It's an annual tradition for me. Also, I've got an important chapter of "Confession" to write!

* * *

_Did we even have a relationship?__ She thought to herself. Yes, they did. It was crazy, screwed up, completely inappropriate and dysfunctional and somehow it worked. She knew he was still upset about her relationship with Lucas but she hoped he wouldn't be stupid enough to go back to his self destructive ways. She wanted them to be friends but wasn't sure if House could handle that._

_Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't even realized until she'd arrived, that she was on her way to House's apartment instead of her house. She pulled up outside the Newport style apartment building and turned off the ignition. Both his motorcycle and car were parked out front. She'd calmed down since she left the hospital, now she just wanted to know what happened to House. She slowly emerged from the car, took a deep breath and made her way to the front door._

* * *

Cuddy knocked loudly on the door but there was no answer. She knocked again and called his name but still there was no response. Finally she reached up into the semi-secret place where he kept his key and quietly let herself in. She closed the door behind her and noticed his keys were on the table by the door. She looked around the unusually tidy apartment and noticed his jacket lying across the arm of the couch and empty beer bottles and a half bottle of scotch on the coffee table. She frowned at the thought that he was drinking too much again.

"House?"

The apartment was awkwardly quiet and the only light in the room was the lamp on his desk. She'd expected him to be sitting in his pajamas watching soaps or monster trucks, as he usually did. She looked down the hallway and noticed a soft glow coming from his bedroom. With every step she took, she was worried what she might find. When she reached his bedroom she saw House stretched out on his bed in a pair of boxers and a tee shirt, a heating pad lay next to him. He seemed to be sleeping soundly. Her eyes were immediately drawn to his right leg and noticed the scar was red and bruising. There was also a patch on his leg near the scar. On his nightstand sat a small bottle of medication and a bottle of water. Cuddy panicked over the pill bottle until she took a closer look and saw it was Ultram. She frowned, knowing all too well how dangerous the medication was for people with a history of alcohol and drug abuse. It bothered her greatly that he would take the chance of the side effects of the medication after having likely consumed a great deal of alcohol.

She looked around the room. Other than a few pieces of clothing strewn about, it was neat and organized. She assumed it was because he'd been staying at Wilson's apartment fairly often. Suddenly, her phone rang and she rushed out of the bedroom and into the bathroom to take the call. Five minutes later she hung up annoyed that her assistant couldn't handle such a ridiculously small problem on her own. She turned her phone off and walked back into House's room and found him in the same position, only this time he was awake.

"What are _you_ doing here?" He asked in a tired, raspy voice.

"You didn't show up for work today."

"Yeah about that, I won't be in today, just so you know." He grumbled and moved awkwardly to sit up by himself. She tried to help him but he put his hand up to stop her.

"Gee, thanks for the advance notice. What happened to you?" She asked.

"Nothing." He groaned in pain as he rubbed his bruised and damaged thigh.

"Nothing? House, you have a bruise on your arm here, she said lifting his right arm. "Your right leg looks awful too. What happened?"

He pulled away from her. "Had too many beers and fell down."

She frowned. "When are you going to learn? You need to take care of yourself otherwise you're going to wind up in the hospital…again...or worse..._dead_."

"Dead's not so bad," he said, earning him a nasty glare. "I was being sarcastic. Really, it's minor."

"Yeah, minor. What's that on your leg?" She asked pointing to the patch.

"Fentanyl."

"_Fentanyl?_ But that's an opiate."

"And a damn fine one too." He saw the look on her face. "Relax, I'm under a doctor's care, I'm being monitored for side effects."

"House,what's really going on with you?" She asked in a calmer voice.

"Don't you have a boy toy cooking dinner for you right about now? A kid to feed and nurture?" He deflected.

"This isn't about me, this is about you. I'm trying to help you."

"I don't need your help."

"Yeah obviously you're doing a bang-up job on your own. I'm worried about you. You were doing so well and now...you're drinking too much and..." she picked up the Ultram from his nightstand. "Don't you realize this is dangerous for a guy with a drug and alcohol problem?"

"I _am_ a doctor too you know. And I figured Vicodin wasn't exactly the safest choice for a pain reliever. Why do you care anyway?" He tried to stand but his leg gave out and he nearly collapsed. Cuddy rushed over to help him sit back on the bed. She couldn't imagine what happened to his leg that was so bad he couldn't even stand on it.

"Because I do House...I can't help it, I just _do_." As she helped him sit back on his bed, they were just inches from one another. Their eyes locked and for a second, each noticed the familiar look, the spark that they once had. After that fleeting moment, they both looked away and Cuddy stepped back from him. "If you hurt your leg that bad, we might need an MRI."

"What's this _we_?"

"I meant I could help you."

"Don't need your help," he growled.

She sat on the bed next to him and let out a frustrating sigh. It was uncomfortably quiet for a few moments until she said, "I wish things could go back to the way they were, I mean, ever since you found out I was dating Lucas you've changed," she said. She looked down at her hands, clasped in her lap. "I miss you," she whispered.

Without looking at her, he said, "I'm not the only one who changed. When I came back I thought things would be different with us." He turned to her and saw the hurt look on her face and he continued, "But then…I got smart and realized it could never happen. I was stupid for even thinking it."

She tried to take his hand. "House, I didn't know-"

"No! Don't. Just..._don't._" He pulled away from her. "Now that you've finally got what you always wanted, your life should be perfect. So why don't you go home to your _happy family_ and leave me the hell alone." He turned away from her, not wanting her to see his eyes, which were slightly wet. She got up slowly and walked towards his door. She knew she should leave but she wanted him to open up to her.

"House—" she said as she turned around to face him one more time.

"_Get out! I don't need you!_" he yelled, catching her off guard. Then, painfully, he maneuvered his leg onto the bed and laid down on his side, his back to her.

Cuddy was taken back by his reaction and she held back the tears that threatened to fall. She wished she could do something to take away his pain, both the physical and the emotional. She wanted him to know she really did care about him. She reached out to touch his shoulder but stopped herself. _Maybe he's right_, she thought. _Maybe things can never go back to the way they were._ With a sigh of resignation and sadness, she pulled her hand back, turned around and walked out of his bedroom, down the hallway and out the front door, locking it behind her.

* * *

Hope you liked this chapter. Please review! Also, my twitter account where I advertise new chapter and fics is now at JLCH_FF

Jess :)


	3. Chapter 3

_Without looking at her, he said, "I'm not the only one who changed. When I came back I thought things would be different with us." He turned to her and saw the hurt look on her face and he continued, "But then…I got smart and realized it could never happen. I was stupid for even thinking it."_

_She tried to take his hand. "House, I didn't know-"_

_"No! Don't. Just...__don't.__" He pulled away from her. "Now that you've finally got what you always wanted, your life should be perfect. So why don't you go home to your __happy family__ and leave me the hell alone." He turned away from her, not wanting her to see his eyes, which were slightly wet. She got up slowly and walked towards his door. She knew she should leave but she wanted him to open up to her._

_"House—" she said as she turned around to face him one more time._

_"__Get out! I don't need you!__" He yelled, catching her off guard. Then, painfully, he maneuvered his leg onto the bed and laid down on his side, his back to her._

_Cuddy was taken aback by his reaction and she held back the tears that threatened to fall. She wished she could do something to take away his pain, both the physical and the emotional. She wanted him to know she really did care about him. She reached out to touch his shoulder but stopped herself. __Maybe he's right__, she thought. __Maybe things can never go back to the way they were.__ With a sigh of resignation and sadness, she pulled her hand back, turned around and walked out of his bedroom, down the hallway and out the front door, locking it behind her_.

* * *

The next morning around nine-thirty, Wilson entered Cuddy's office.

"Hey," she said, looking up from her work.

"Cuddy." Wilson threw his briefcase in one of the chairs in front of her desk and sat in the other.

"What can I do for you?" She asked.

"Just checking on you, seeing how things are going."

"And to see how things went when I saw House last night," she said, looking up at him.

"Yeah."

"He looked awful, Wilson, his leg was badly bruised too. He said it happened when he fell down drunk."

"Do you believe him?"

"Why wouldn't I? He's been drinking more than usual lately."

"Why do you suppose that is?"

"I have no idea."

"Don't you?" He asked in an accusing manner. "Cuddy, ever since came back from Mayfield, he's just wanted you to see that he's changed. He's in pain but he's managing it. For the first time in years, he's clear-headed and he knows what he wants but you _ignored_ him."

"I had to move on. You knew that might happen."

"But with _Lucas_? Seriously? He's not even in your league!" He had raised his voice without realizing it.

She glared at him angrily. "You do not get to come into _my_ office and proceed to criticize how I live my life when you've been divorced _three_ times!"

Wilson put his hands up defensively. "Easy, Cuddy. I'm just saying that you could do better than Lucas."

"Really? They weren't exactly beating down my door. Why do you care so much about who I go out with anyway?"

"Because I'm your friend."

"I appreciate you wanting the best for me but…I've actually found a guy I can count on here, someone who I trust, who I know will be there for me and Rachel."

"House wants to be happy, he just doesn't know how because it's been so damn long. He wanted to be the friend I need, the guy you need and most of all, he didn't want to be miserable anymore. Finally he got the courage to tell you how he felt and you broke his heart."

"_I _broke his heart? What about _me_? What about when toyed with me for years and then when I made a move he pushed me away?" She asked him defiantly.

"That was old House. Now…I know he'll still be old House but he's changed in subtle ways. He deserved a chance."

"Didn't I deserve one too? Lucas is a great guy."

Wilson ran his fingers through his hair in angst. "I'm sure he's great with Rachel, reading her stories and having tea parties with her. I'm sure he cooks delicious vegetarian meals and keeps your bed warm at night but-"

Cuddy laughed at him. "You're still trying to convince me I made the wrong choice."

Wilson decided to get to the point. "How well do you know him?"

"What kind of question is that? I know him well enough. What's your point?" She asked, annoyed and anxious for him to quit badgering her about her relationship with Lucas.

Wilson leaned over to open his briefcase. "I came here with an ulterior motive." He placed a videotape on her desk.

"What's this?" She asked cautiously.

"Something you need to see," he said as he stood up. He grabbed his briefcase and turned to walk out of her office. He turned to look at her. "You and House are like family to me and I love both of you and I don't like either of you hurt. You wonder why I keep defending House? It's because I see him every single day, I've lived with him and I see how he hurts. He tries to hide it but it's not always possible. It kills me to see him in so much pain, and I'm not just talking about his leg either. He deserves _better_." Finally, he turned and walked out the door, not looking back.

Cuddy stood there stunned, taking in Wilson's words. She looked down at the videotape on her desk and wondered what was on it. She almost put it in a drawer to watch later but curiosity got the best of her. She walked over to the television and slipped the well worn tape into the VCR. She took a seat on the small couch and pressed the play button on the remote.

She recognized the background, it was the cafeteria, and there were only a few people there. Before her eyes she saw House and Wilson walking towards the tables, House had a tray in his hand. Suddenly out of nowhere a man stuck his leg out and House went flying and landed very hard on the concrete tiled floor. She sucked in her breath as she watched him go down. _Oh God, that's how he hurt his leg. Why would someone do such a thing? _She continued to watch as House turned to the man sitting at the table where he'd tripped. At the same time, the man turned around that's when she saw it and her jaw dropped.

_Lucas._

She rewound the scene and watched it again. Yes, it was definitely Lucas and it was definitely intentional. She watched House react defensively with his cane but all the three did was talk for a moment and then Lucas smiled and sauntered away.

She watched House and Wilson after the exchange with Lucas. House nearly collapsed and Wilson helped him to a nearby table where he helped him place his leg on the chair across from him. House grimaced, obviously in a great deal of pain. A nurse passed by and Wilson grabbed her arm and whispered something to her, she shook her head and left in a hurry. Meanwhile Wilson sat next House, talking to him. She could see them arguing and House shaking his head adamantly, then he finally shook his head up and down. A few minutes later the same nurse returned with a syringe and a wheelchair. Wilson injected House and then the nurse helped Wilson load House into a wheelchair and out the rarely used side exit.

Cuddy leaned back in her seat, teary-eyed, and stunned. How could Lucas do something so mean? She knew Lucas and House had, at one time, been friendly acquaintances and indulged in harmless pranks but this was no prank, this was something else, it was malicious, it was vile. It made her want to throw up. She ran to her bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach in the toilet. As she brushed her teeth and rinsed her mouth, she thought about House and how he'd provoked patients and their family members in the past but she couldn't imagine what he'd done to provoke this.

_Son of a bitch, _she thought_. The condo. _She recalled how Lucas kept going on about the damn condo and she'd asked him if he'd been the one to play pranks on them. Though he denied it, she was pretty sure he had something to do with it. She'd told him to back off then she remembered they'd had that conversation would have taken place after he'd tripped House in the cafeteria. Of course he'd already backed off, because apparently with that last move he'd gotten his point across. When they'd discussed it, he knew what he'd done and yet he said _nothing_. _How could he think I wouldn't find out?_ She wondered to herself. That's when it hit her that Lucas must have had something on them which kept them from telling her what happened.

Her shock turned to anger. She disagreed with Lucas's pranks in the condo but the last one…hurting a man physically…this she couldn't let go. This was no prank, this was intentional and no matter what House did, _this_ was unacceptable. She finished cleaning up and walked into her office but suddenly stopped in her tracks. _Oh my God_, she thought. _I did the same thing._ She leaned against the wall nauseous again thinking of how nearly a year earlier she'd set the trip wire in House's office. Though it didn't show on the outside, she knew she'd hurt him. She'd been so angry at him for keeping her from spending time at home with Rachel but later she admitted to herself that she'd actually really wanted to go back to work. It turned her stomach that she was criticizing Lucas for hurting him and she'd done it too.

She got up from her chair and walked over to one of the bookshelves in her office. She surveyed the books until she came to one that was old and dusty. She pulled it out and ran her fingers over the cover. It was the very first biology book that she'd purchased at the University bookstore her freshman year. That's when she met the lanky, athletic, know-it-all behind the counter, the one who had already become a legend at the school, and would immediately change her life forever. She flipped the pages till she found what she was looking for. The flower and the picture were still there, safely tucked between the sheets of wax paper. It was a picture of two smiling young college students at the homecoming hay ride. A few tears fell as she ran her finger over the picture, remembering how happy they were back then. It didn't seem fair that they'd gone from young, carefree and happy to pain, misery and anger. For the first time in nearly twenty years, she closed the book without putting the picture back.

She dried her tears and went back over to her desk. She sat down and picked up the phone and asked her assistant to cancel her schedule for the rest of the day. After a few more phone calls, she packed up her things, placed the picture in her pocket, turned out the lights and walked determinedly out the door. She was on a mission to make things right, if there was still a chance she could.


	4. Chapter 4

_Her shock turned to anger. She disagreed with Lucas's pranks in the condo but the last one… hurting a man physically… this she couldn't let go. This was no prank, this was intentional and no matter what House did, this was unacceptable. She finished cleaning up and walked into her office but suddenly stopped in her tracks. Oh my God, she thought. I did the same thing. She leaned against the wall nauseous again thinking of how nearly a year earlier she'd set the trip wire in House's office. Though it didn't show on the outside, she knew she'd hurt him. She'd been so angry at him for keeping her from spending time at home with Rachel but later she admitted to herself that she'd actually really wanted to go back to work. It turned her stomach that she was criticizing Lucas for hurting him and she'd done it too._

_She got up from her chair and walked over to one of the bookshelves in her office. She surveyed the books until she came to one that was old and dusty. She pulled it out and ran her fingers over the cover. It was the very first biology book that she'd purchased at the University bookstore her freshman year. That's when she met the lanky, athletic, know-it-all behind the counter, the one who had already become a legend at the school, and would immediately change her life forever. She flipped the pages till she found what she was looking for. The flower and the picture were still there, safely tucked between the sheets of wax paper. It was a picture of two smiling young college students at the homecoming hay ride. A few tears fell as she ran her finger over the picture, remembering how happy they were back then. It didn't seem fair that they'd gone from young, carefree and happy to pain, misery and anger. For the first time in nearly twenty years, she closed the book without putting the picture back._

_She dried her tears and went back over to her desk. She sat down and picked up the phone and asked her assistant to cancel her schedule for the rest of the day. After a few more phone calls, she packed up her things, placed the picture in her pocket, turned out the lights and walked determinedly out the door. She was on a mission to make things right, if there was still a chance she could._

* * *

It was mid-morning on Friday and House lay on the leather couch in his apartment. His leg still hurt but the medication was doing its job. Wilson was monitoring House carefully for any side effects and House promised to stick to the minimum dosages. He hadn't wanted House to be alone but House insisted on staying at his apartment as he had been doing more of lately, because he felt at home there.

He picked up the guitar next to the couch and started strumming it. He loved his puzzles but he'd missed his music and vowed to play it more often. He'd hoped he could play that music for Cuddy, that she'd want to hear the special composition he wrote for her, but now that would never happen. He thought about burning it but it wouldn't do any good as he knew it by heart. He played her song over and over again until he couldn't listen to it anymore. He put down the guitar and reached for the bottle in front of him and took a swig, wishing it was scotch and not water. Though he didn't want to admit it, Cuddy was right about mixing the medication and alcohol and he really didn't want to wind up in the hospital again. He lay his head back on the arm of the couch and closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, trying not to think about her but his mind had other plans.

* * *

After running a number of rescheduled errands she had originally intended to do later that day after work, Cuddy arrived home mid-afternoon and relieved Marina. She'd called Lucas earlier and told him she had things to do and was taking the rest of the afternoon off but that she wanted him to ditch his afternoon plans and meet her at home.

"Hey babe." Lucas walked in and took off his coat, hanging it by the door. He sat on the couch next to Cuddy and tried to kiss her but she turned away from him. "Where's Rach?"

"Taking a nap," she said rather abruptly.

"What's wrong?"

"We need to talk."

"Okay, shoot."

She took a deep breath and clasped her hands together on her knees. "I know what you did, Lucas."

He shrugged and looked at her sheepishly. "Okay, maybe I shouldn't have tried to dig up dirt on House's team," he said laughing. "But I did it for you...never know when it might come in handy," he said wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"No. I mean I know what happened in the cafeteria."

Lucas stopped smiling. "What did you hear?"

"I heard that you intentionally tripped House."

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Suddenly he said, "He told you that? Why am I not surprised? Come on babe you know he's just trying to find a way to split us up."

"Seriously? That's the best you can come up with?"

"What?" He asked feigning innocence.

"I can handle a lot of things Lucas, but lying is _not_ one of them." She stood up and stood by the fireplace, arms crossed glaring at him.

"Oh come on, it was a joke." He insisted. He moved to get up from the couch but she put her hand out indicating he should stay where he was.

"A _joke_? Are you kidding me? I saw it Lucas, it was_ no_ joke," she said angrily.

"Wait, you _saw_ it?"

"Someone gave me a copy of the surveillance tape, thought I should know what goes on in my hospital."

Lucas swallowed hard. "Listen, it wasn't as bad as you think."

"What the hell Lucas? House is seriously hurt because of you."

"It really was nothing. I didn't mean for that to happen, I just needed him to know-"

"What?" She interrupted. "That you won, that you were the better man?"

"Lisa, I'm sorry he's hurt but you know...he kinda deserved it."

"Where do you come with that?" She asked.

"He and Wilson bought that condo you really wanted."

Cuddy paced the floor in front of him, she was losing her patience with him quickly. "For crissakes Lucas, it's just a condo and for the record, _Wilson_ bought it. House just moved in with him so he'd have a friend nearby."

"Oh hell, Wilson, House, it doesn't matter, they were in on it together. I can't believe you're upset over this. After all you did the same thing to him last year with the trip wire, remember?"

"It was wrong. I never should have done that to him!" She yelled, not meaning to but she couldn't help it. Lucas was being so dense.

"You hurt him because he hurt you _right_?" He demanded.

"He would _never_ hurt me like that. I was just was pissed off at him," she said reluctantly, then added, "but he did not deserve that."

"Wait, so you're upset at me because I got back at him but you did the same thing and it's okay?"

"What part of _he did not deserve that_ do you not get? No, it's not okay. I wish to God I hadn't done it but I did and I can't take it back." Cuddy swallowed hard remembering she'd never even apologized to him. Things had just moved along as if nothing happened.

"Besides this isn't about me it's about you."

"No, Lisa, this is about you protecting him _again._ I get that you feel sorry for him."

"I don't feel sorry for him!"

"Yes you do, but he's not your responsibility."

"I don't look at him like he's my responsibility, I look at him like he's my _friend._"

"Gee, really? Because you sure as hell haven't treated him like one, especially one who's _in love with you_!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You mean you really don't know? He asked me last year if I'd step aside. Maybe at first, but then I got to know you. He's been trying to get you to notice him since he got back from the looney bin and you totally ignored him," he said chuckling. "Now hey, I'm not upset that my girl dissed him but that's no way to treat someone who you call a _friend_."

Cuddy stood there stunned.

"Look," he said softly, getting up and approaching her. "I kinda like House, I mean he's not a bad guy and he's a fucking awesome musician but I'm onto him, he's just trying to figure out a way to break us up so he can move in. And these pranks? It's just a thing…between guys. His leg? He'll bounce back in no time."

"You don't know him like I do. He's hurt and it's _more_ than just his leg."

Lucas, obviously frustrated, ran his hand through his hair. "Okay, you need to tell me what's going on because I'm getting signals I don't like. You're upset at me, fine, I get that. I said I'm sorry but you're still pushing this." He stopped and looked at her curiously for a moment. He watched her sit on the arm of the couch, putting her head in her hand.

"Wait a minute...there's more to this."

Cuddy let out a sigh, it was now or never. "Yes."

"What the hell Lisa?"

"Lucas, I didn't like what you did, pranking them in the loft, but when I saw what you did to him in the cafeteria, when I saw it with my own eyes how you hurt him and how smug you looked as you walked away...I didn't know you were capable of that kind of thing."

"Lisa, you're blowing this out of proportion.

"I don't think I am Lucas. You _intentionally_ hurt a disabled man who is in chronic pain. That is unacceptable."

"Oh come off it Lis, this is House, we're talking about."

"Exactly, this is_ House._ He's someone...I care about very much and you hurt him _on my behalf!_ I never would have wanted you to do that to him...never. At least when I did it, I realized I was wrong but you think he deserved it because he's miserable and lonely. "

"I'm sorry," he said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry too. I just can't do this anymore."

"What?" Then he realized what she meant. "Us?" He motioned between them. "You mean you're breaking up with me, over this?"

"Not _just_ this." She said sadly. "I guess you could say it's the straw that broke the camel's back. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately."

"You love him," he said quietly. Suddenly he needed to sit down. "I don't get it," he said with mock laughter. "No matter what he does, you keep running back to him. I don't get what this hold is he has over you Lisa. I mean, I know I'm not a genius or anything but I thought we had something good, we could've been happy together."

Cuddy moved to the chair directly across from him. "Lucas, House and I...have a very long and complicated history. We go back _twenty years_ and in our own screwed up way, we've always been there for one another. Despite what House thinks, people _do_ change. He's changed and...so have I."

Lucas scratched his head, stunned and confused. "You sure about this?"

"Yeah," she replied softly.

He got up and walked towards the door and put his jacket on and she followed. He turned around to give her a hug and a kiss, out of habit. He stopped himself and just gave her a half smile. "Just take care of yourself and Rachel...and...good luck with...whatever you do."

"You too Lucas, I'm sorry."

"Yeah." He walked out the door and she closed it behind him.

Cuddy rested her back against the door and closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. Looking at her watch, she figured Rachel had been napping long enough. She walked into the nursery and Rachel was already awake wanting out of her crib. Cuddy picked her up and held her close.

"How's my little girl? Are you all rested now? Would you like to go with mommy to see a friend?" She smiled when Rachel giggled. "His name is House and he's a very good friend but mommy hasn't been so nice to him lately." Rachel just looked at her and Cuddy wondered if there was any chance at all House would want to be a part of their lives. Rachel giggled again and Cuddy blew a raspberry on her stomach as she changed her diaper. "You want to go see him too? You don't know him but I think if you did you'd like him. I think he'd like you too if he gave you a chance," she said as she finished and threw the used diaper in the pail.

She collected a few basic baby things and threw them in a knapsack then she picked up Rachel again and smiled. "Come on baby, let's do this, it's now or never."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Sorry it took me so long to update. It was easier to post a chapter a day earlier in the week but then things got hectic quickly. I'm trying to balance making my Christmas and Hanukkah cards with updating my stories in addition to everything else I have to do. I try to do timely updates, but it just isn't always possible, so I appreciate your patience. This was supposed to be the last chapter but my muse stepped in and it wasn't the right time yet.

I'll be working on _Confession is good for the soul_ a little this evening. I've got a good portion written. If it isn't updated tonight then I promise sometime this week.

Thanks to partypantscuddy, allthingsdecent, mystryGAB, IntheHouse, GratefulInsomniac, , houseenthusiast, Harper Penn, Ms Orton, givemekevinbacon, OldSFFan, huddyloverXOX, princetonblues, housemd83, Iane Casey, LiaHuddy, cantstopobsessing, LisAvenger, susantrules, TDCSI, AnomymousBrit, Drdiagnostic, Raquel, RochelleRene, HouseMDforever, TheHouseWitch, Superboetti and all the rest...

...for their continued writing of the House & Cuddy story.

* * *

_Cuddy moved to the chair directly across from him. "Lucas, House and I...have a very long and complicated history. We go back __twenty years__ and in our own screwed up way, we've always been there for one another. Despite what House thinks, people __do__ change. He's changed and...so have I."_

_Lucas scratched his head, stunned and confused. "You sure about this?"_

_"Yeah," she replied softly._

_He got up and walked towards the door and put his jacket on and she followed. He turned around to give her a hug and a kiss, out of habit. He stopped himself and just gave her a half smile. "Just take care of yourself and Rachel...and...good luck with...whatever you do."_

_"You too Lucas, I'm sorry."_

_"Yeah." He walked out the door and she closed it behind him._

_Cuddy rested her back against the door and closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. Looking at her watch, she figured Rachel had been napping long enough. She walked into the nursery and Rachel was already awake wanting out of her crib. Cuddy picked her up and held her close._

_"How's my little girl? Are you all rested now? Would you like to go with mommy to see a friend?" She smiled when Rachel giggled. "His name is House and he's a very good friend but mommy hasn't been so nice to him lately." Rachel just looked at her and Cuddy wondered if there was any chance at all House would want to be a part of their lives. Rachel giggled again and Cuddy blew a raspberry on her stomach as she changed her diaper. "You want to go see him too? You don't know him but I think if you did you'd like him. I think he'd like you too if he gave you a chance," she said as she finished and threw the used diaper in the pail._

_She collected a few basic baby things and threw them in a knapsack then she picked up Rachel again and smiled. "Come on baby, let's do this, it's now or never."_

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Cuddy arrived at House's apartment. She put the knapsack over her shoulder and then unbuckled Rachel from her carrier. With her daughter on her hip, she walked into the apartment building and knocked softly on House's door. She waited for a minute and didn't hear anything inside then she knocked again. Her arms were full but she carefully rummaged through her purse until she found what she was looking for. She inserted House's spare key in the lock and let herself in. Immediately she heard House snoring from the couch so she quietly closed the door behind her. She tiptoed over to the couch and saw him passed out cold so she took Rachel to his bedroom and laid her down in the large bed placing pillows all around her to ensure she would not roll off, and then she set her knapsack down and went into the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, which she found was fully stocked, no doubt thanks to Wilson, she rummaged through the refrigerator finding ground beef, bread crumbs, eggs, and other ingredients and set about preparing a meatloaf. After the meatloaf was in the oven, she washed and quartered some red potatoes, mixed in olive oil, salt and pepper, then placed them in a casserole dish and put them in the oven too. She took a bag of baby carrots out of the crisper, washed them and set them in the steamer pot. She cleaned up and went into the living room and sat on the coffee table across from the couch.

"House," she said softly.

"Hmm?" He rolled from his left side onto his back but he didn't wake up.

She moved closer. "House, wake up," she whispered in his ear.

Immediately House woke up and was surprised to be staring into the beautiful blue eyes of one Lisa Cuddy.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Shh…Rachel's napping in your room, don't wanna wake her up."He grumbled loudly.

"Why is your kid in my bed and _again_ what are _you_ doing _here_?"

"She's in your bed because you weren't using it and I'm here because we need to talk."

"We did that already. You can leave now, put the key back where you got it," he said sternly as he started to roll over on his side again but her hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Please..."

He rolled over on his back and rubbed his thigh.

"Did you take anything?" She asked concerned.

"You worried I'm on Vicodin again?" He grumbled.

She frowned. "No, just wondering if the meds you're taking are helping."

"Not nearly enough," he groaned.

"You hungry?" She asked hopefully.

"No."

"That's too bad because I made dinner."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Why?"

She looked down. "I figured you probably haven't eaten much lately."

House was ready to dismiss her but then he said, "Wait…if you and the kid are _here_, where's the boy toy?"

"I don't know."

"Is that euphemism for _none of your business_?"

"No, it means _I don't know_."

"Uh oh, trouble in paradise?"

"It's over okay? It's done. Happy now?"

"Huh?" He was wide awake now.

"Yeah," she said softly.

"Well, if you're here to offer me sloppy seconds then no thanks," he said nastily.

Cuddy looked hurt. "Why do you have to be like that?"

"What am I supposed to think? You made it pretty clear you weren't interested. Now he breaks up with you and you're here. This isn't third grade Cuddy."

"For the record, I broke up with him."

"I really don't give a -"

"Damnit House, shut the hell up for once!" She demanded as she stood up and walked over to his fireplace, wringing her hands and pacing.

"You came to me, remember. _My house,_" he said sternly.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out.

He looked puzzled.

"Last year…" she sighed and then took a deep breath for courage."Last year I set that trip wire and you fell and you could've been hurt. It was wrong and I never apologized."

"Wow, a year later and you're still feeling guilty?" He asked sarcastically.

She hung her head. "Actually, yeah."

"You don't think I deserved it?"

"No. Oh you were acting like an ass but what I did was just…not right."

"I kept you from the rugrat, you were pissed."

"I could have done anything else."

"You did...the laxatives, turning off the utilities, my cane. Remember?" He'd actually admired her skills in the area of revenge tactics.

"Oh yeah." She remembered Wilson telling her that she was physically hurting him. She felt guilty all over again and House sensed it.

"Oh stop with the guilt. I accept your apology. Now, what happened with Lucas?" He asked, changing the subject.

"You really wanna know?" She asked. She was happy inside that he accepted her apology.

"I asked, didn't I?" He rolled his eyes.

"I know what he did to you in the cafeteria."

"Oh," he said dismissively.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have believed me?"

"Of course I would've believed you." She sat down on the table in front of him. "Geez, have things changed _that_ much between us? "

"A lot's changed." House moved to sit up and Cuddy could tell it was painful for him. "So," he said. "You broke up with him because he tripped me?"

"It was the final straw. I'd been doing a lot of thinking over the last few weeks, and when he hurt you...that was it. No way would I ever be okay with someone hurting you..." she left off not finishing her sentence.

House noticed her eyes were moist but she held back her tears. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

"_What?_ It's not your fault," she said wiping at her eyes.

"Every time you find someone, I find a way of messing it up. I finally backed off, figuring it was about time."

"Yeah, you did and it happened anyway," she said sadly. "So what does that mean?"

"You're just as screwed up as I am?" He joked.

"Tell me something I don't know," she laughed with him. "We make a good pair, don't we?" She asked absentmindedly, staring down at her hands.

They sat quietly for a moment, and then House said "You're a great mom."

Cuddy looked up surprised by his revelation.

"I've said some things about you...and Rachel that I shouldn't have said. I'm sorry."

"You were in pain." She realized too that he'd finally called her daughter Rachel.

"No excuses." He added, "Something I'm working on in therapy."

"House, we both know that pain makes a person do things they might not otherwise do."

"That's who I am, I'm _always_ like that."

"Actually, you're not," she said. "Not _always_."

He smirked.

"Thank you," she whispered. "For the apology. We've both said and done a lot to hurt each other and I'm tired of it, aren't you?"

"You think I can change?"

"I think we both can but actually you already have in subtle ways. Honestly the only thing about you I wish you could change is your misery. I wish you could see the good things all around you."

"You don't ask for much do you?"

"It doesn't have to be that way."

"Do you think things...between us...can go back to the way they were?"

"No," she said, realizing it a little too quickly. House suddenly looked sad and Cuddy picked up on it. "I don't want them to go back to the way they were because I want them to be _better,_" she insisted. Cuddy rested her hand on his knee. "God help me for saying this because you'll never let me live it down but I love your sarcasm and your antics. You keep life from being mundane and boring. When you were gone, there were days I was so bored I was going out of my mind. I missed you coming in asking to perform some insane procedure, and making comments about my ass, and well...I just missed your general mayhem."

"Mayhem eh?" He grinned openly at her now despite his pain. "Some people would say you need to see a shrink."

"They might be right." She was glad he was bantering with her. "More than anything though, I've missed _you_."

House swallowed hard and they looked at each other a few moments in silence, their eyes connected and speaking volumes without either of them saying a word. Just then, the timer in the kitchen started beeping.

"Carrots are done," she said, removing her hand from his knee and getting up. House tried to follow but winced in pain.

"No, rest your leg," she said. "I'll be right back. I think I know something that would help you."

"You do?" he asked suggestively.

She couldn't help but laugh at House who could still make a joke about sex even when he was in pain. "Not that! Just let me check on dinner then I'm going to run you a hot bath."

"No, it's fine. I appreciate it but you should go."

She stopped and looked back at him. "You really _want_ me to go?" On one hand she was prepared to go if he insisted, but on the other, she knew that there were times he said the opposite of what he really wanted. They needed to finally talk through things; she didn't want to run anymore.

After a few awkward silent moments he answered. "No," he confessed.

"Just give me a few minutes okay?"

He nodded.

She left him on the couch to his thoughts and went into his bathroom and plugged up the tub turned on the water. She knew he liked it hot and she was happy she could do this for him. She took a fresh bath towel out of the cabinet and laid the bath mat on the floor in front of the tub. She got his shaving kit out and lay it on the sink in case he decided to use it and she moved the small stool, the one he liked to set things on, over by the tub. Once done, she went into the kitchen, passing House, who continued to sit on the couch with his eyes closed. She emptied the steamed carrots into a bowl and covered them, then checked on the rest of the meal. She was lighthearted thinking about how their conversation had gone so well and how she was hoping they could talk more over the course of the evening. She'd expected an argument but none of that came. He didn't seem to be upset at her at all. _Maybe there's hope,_ she thought, smiling. When she was done, she went back into the living room and House was gone from the couch. She caught him making his way down the hallway.

"Hey, let me help you," she said.

"I've got it." He insisted.

"Please let me. I want to help you because I care about you. You would do it for me, right?"

When he looked at her, he knew she was telling the truth, he could see it in her eyes. She was right, he would do anything to help her, hell he'd do anything for her, period. He motioned to her, lifted his arm so she could move under it and to his side and let her help him to the bathroom.

House hooked his cane on the towel rack. "Hey," he said pointing at his pants. "Gotta pee."

"Go ahead, doesn't bother me," she said nonchalantly as she bent down to look for something in a cabinet, her back to him.

He raised one eyebrow at her. "Suit yourself." He did his business then finished and washed his hands, admiring her ass the entire time as she rummaged around in the cabinet.

"Eucalyptus?" She asked, standing up and holding up the bottle of bath beads. She caught him looking at her and she smiled.

"Wilson got me some stuff awhile back that he said would help my leg," he said.

"Does it?"

"Sometimes." He closed the lid on the toilet and sat down.

"We'll try it." She said as she poured a generous amount in the steaming hot water.

"Do you need any help getting those off?" She motioned to his clothes.

"No, I think I'll be okay."

"At least let me help you get your pants off."

"Dr. Cuddy, are you trying to seduce me?" He asked, coyly.

"Oh damn, busted," she said dryly.

"I got it," he said. Then he added, "Thanks." House would never tell her but he was grateful for her help.

"Listen," she said. "I'll help you…get into the tub if you need it. I don't mind."

"I think I can make it." He wanted to be able to do something for himself. He got up and held on to the small rail Wilson had installed for him when he was in Mayfield.

Cuddy wanted to give him some privacy. "I'm going to get dinner ready and check on Rachel, if you need anything, just call me okay?"

"Yeah," he said. She left the door open for him and before he stripped down, he limped over to the doorway to his bedroom. Rachel lay sleeping amidst a mass of pillows. House smiled and shook his head. He had to admit that the little rugrat was adorable the way she lay there sleeping peacefully with arm around her small stuffed duck. He left his place at the door and limped back over to the tub, stripping down and then using the bars to lower himself into the hot water. He groaned a sigh of relief as he sat down and let the hot water invade his pores and seep into his muscles. It felt heavenly.

He leaned back and closed his eyes, listening to Cuddy move around in his kitchen. Just a few days earlier he'd decided to finally give up on ever being with her and here she was, no longer seeing Lucas, and in his apartment, running him a bath and cooking him dinner, with her child sleeping in his bed. He rested his head against the tiled wall in deep thought. He had been angry at her after the conference when he found out about Lucas, but he'd been more angry at himself for not being the man she needed. He knew she needed a man who could be there for both her and Rachel and he could never be that man.

_Rachel._

He'd never told anyone but inside he was really happy for Cuddy. He thought motherhood had changed her and made her more beautiful than ever. Her maternal instincts made her more passionate and caring. He thought she handled motherhood and her career amazingly well. He was happy that she'd found something other than her career to give her passion and fulfillment. Despite how he acted towards her, all he ever wanted was for her to be happy. He only wished she could have had a baby of her own, one with her blue eyes and…his attitude. He wanted so badly to be her donor years back but even with the hints he'd thrown her, she never had the courage to ask him. He figured she was afraid to get that involved with him and he couldn't blame her, although secretly he wished she had because he knew that no matter how much he pushed her away, a child of theirs would always keep them in each other's lives.

House let out a loud sigh as he sunk deep into the hot water, covering everything except his head. He thought about the little girl sleeping in his bed and the idea of being a father sent chills up his spine. _What the hell?_ He thought. _We're not even together and I'm thinking about that? _With Nolan's help, he'd only recently begun to realize that there were some good times between he and his father but he still dealt with bad memories that sometimes pervaded his thoughts. It was mostly his experiences with his father that convinced him he would be a terrible role model for a child. However, House found himself conflicted because he couldn't help but think that after two decades and all they had been through together that brought them to this moment, maybe he and Cuddy were meant to be together. Maybe Cuddy and the little girl sleeping peacefully in his bed were exactly what he needed.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Leave a review on the way out. More soon...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Finally I'm updating. This was supposed to be a simple four chapter fic but it's gone slightly past that. It won't be a long one, definitely less than ten chapters. If I have it my way, next chapter will be the last but the muse runs things, so who knows, right? I'm going to work like crazy to get the next chapter of _Confession_ up because it's been two weeks. Remember when I updated once a week? Sometimes twice? I do!

Special thanks to Cherokee Jedi, author of the incredible Huddy fic _Safety_ (go read it!) and DrDiagnostic, author of _Pain, Adventures in Housesitting, Playing Doctor, Happy Huddy Halloween, Paradox and Dark Road_ (go read hers too!) for their help in this chapter.

Other thanks go out to MystryGAB, Allthingsdecent, GratefulInsomniac and Iane Casey (if you don't read their fics as well you don't know what you are missing!) for keeping me grounded when I needed it one evening last week. One thing rings true...you never ever go wrong when you take the high road! Thanks guys!_  
_

Finally, thanks so much to everyone reading this and leaving such wonderful reviews. The Huddy fandom is awesome!

* * *

_House let out a loud sigh as he sunk deep into the hot water, covering everything except his head. He thought about the little girl sleeping in his bed and the idea of being a father sent chills up his spine. __What the hell?__ He thought. __We're not even together and I'm thinking about that? __With Nolan's help, he'd only recently begun to realize that there were some good times between he and his father but he still dealt with bad memories that sometimes pervaded his thoughts. It was mostly his experiences with his father that convinced him he would be a terrible role model for a child. However, House found himself conflicted because he couldn't help but think that after two decades and all they had been through together that brought them to this moment, maybe he and Cuddy were meant to be together. Maybe Cuddy and the little girl sleeping peacefully in his bed were exactly what he needed._

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, House lay in the tub, eyes closed, a faint smile on his face, and his head leaning back against the tile. Suddenly, he was brought out of the blissful quiet and back into reality by the sound of Cuddy's voice.

"House?"

Cuddy stood at the door between his bedroom and bath, watching him for a good minute before she called his name. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him look so peaceful.

"Hey, I'm naked in here," he shouted.

"Not like I haven't seen it before. She walked in holding a towel. Ready?"

"Hand me the towel then close your eyes."

"Seriously?"

"I'm not some piece of meat you can gawk at any time you want," he mused.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and then closed them as she held up the towel. House pushed himself up from the tub and holding onto the rail tightly, managed to get himself out and onto the bath mat. He took the towel from her and wrapped himself in it.

"You can open your eyes now."

When she opened her eyes she found herself staring at his chest, strong and taut, and dripping wet from the bath. She looked up at him and noticed he was smiling down at her.

"Like what you see?"

Cuddy's heart was pounding and her breath hitched. "Uh…I better…go check on dinner."

"Yeah I guess you should." He watched her turn around and walked out and he shook his head and smiled. He knew it was only a matter of time before she caved. But first, they had more talking to do.

House dressed in socks, his favorite striped pajama pants and tee shirt and limped into the living room just as Cuddy entered from the kitchen with two plates. They sat at opposite ends of the couch and ate in relative silence, glancing at one another occasionally. House scarfed his meal down in no time, which made Cuddy very happy. She took a sip of ginger ale from her glass and noticed House sitting there staring at her.

"Do I have something on my face?" She asked.

"No."

"You're staring at me."

"You're beautiful," he said quietly.

Cuddy was stunned and she swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry I've never told you that."

"S'okay. You had other ways of expressing…things."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You remember that patient you had who spoke whatever was on his mind?"

"The guy with Doege-Potter?"

"Yeah that's him, he had zero inhibitions. I didn't tell you this but what you did…I thought it was…well...cute."

"Cute?" He asked feigning disgust at her use of that word to describe him.

"I know, not a word I would normally associate with you but still…it was."

"You liked it?"

"It made my day."

He grinned.

She flopped back against the sofa and let out a loud sigh. "We're two intelligent, educated people and yet we have problems with the simplest communication."

"Nolan says he wants me to talk more, told me I had to start trusting people."

"Can you?"

"It's hard."

"I want you to trust me." She thought of the few times she's let him down, the most recent was when she told Lucas about his hallucinations. Remembering the look on House's face when he found out always reminded her of her shame at what she'd done.

"I'd like to."

"Where do we start?"

"I don't know."

"You could tell me about Mayfield," she said. Seeing the apprehensiveness on his face, she added, "When you're ready."

"I may never be ready."

"If the time comes, I'm willing to listen."

"Thanks."

Feeling an awkwardness descend upon them she said, "I guess I better clean this mess up." She rose from the couch.

House placed a hand on her wrist. "Not yet."

She sat back down, closer to him, and he let go of her. She could still feel the tingle on her skin from where he'd touched her.

"How's Rachel?" He asked out of the blue.

"She's good, crawling all over the place now. When she learns new words, she loves to repeat them over and over again." She laughed at that thought. A week earlier, Rachel had spent the day at Marina's and there she'd petted a cat named "Kitty". After that, she began calling all her stuffed animals "Kitty".

"You'll have to childproof everything."

"Already done that and let me tell you it's not easy. She tries to get into everything."

"She's a cute kid."

"Thanks, House." She smiled at his sincerity.

"I never really told you I think you're doing a great job with her. You're a good mom."

"That means a lot to me." Her eyes were moist hearing those words from him. His opinion of her always meant a great deal and there were times she really wanted and needed to hear this from him.

"Do you want a relationship?" He asked out of the blue.

"With you?" She asked, surprised.

"No Cuddy, with Wilson. Who else?"

"Sorry, you just caught me off guard."

"I need to know."

"I do but if we're in a relationship it's not just us you know, it's Rachel too."

"I know that. I can't be the kind of man you want me to be with her."

"I've seen you with kids, you're great with them."

"Probably because they're someone else's. When kids are young they're not bad, it's when they get older they're a pain in the ass."

"You have a lot to offer a child."

"Why do you think there are no little Gregs running around?"

"You sure about that?" She teased.

"Quite sure."

"What makes you think you wouldn't be good with her or any other child?"

"Experience."

"Yes because of all those women you've dated with hordes of children," she said dryly.

"My dad was a bastard." His voice took on a very serious tone.

Stunned by his confession, she could only manage, "I'm sorry."

"Everything was routine and perfection with him. His way or no way."

"That's typical parenting."

"No, my dad had his own special style of parenting, one of which you would not approve."

"What did he do?"

"Let's say he had an affinity for the cold."

Cuddy looked puzzled.

House stared ahead and played with his cane as he spoke. "He liked to lock me outside in winter, ice baths, shit like that."

"No!" She gasped.

"Yeah."

"Oh my God what did your mother do?"

"She tried to play peacemaker but she was torn between her husband and her son. What was she supposed to do? Besides, she didn't know about everything he did."

Cuddy was angry. "She should have protected you."

"Not her fault," he insisted.

"I just can't imagine that happening to Rachel and me not knowing or not doing something about it."

"Cuddy, nobody could ever get away with that with you. Besides, you'd never get involved with a guy who would do anything like that."

"See, I know you. I know you'd never hurt her."

"How can you be sure?"

"I'm sure. You would _never_ hurt a child." She was adamant in her statement.

House sat silent pondering her words.

"Is your relationship with your dad the reason you've always been sort of a loner and a rebel?"

He nodded. "I've always been like that. I just learned I'm better off alone."

"No man is an island."

"How cliché. Anyway, the people I care about always get hurt in the end."

"We always hurt the ones we love."

"Seriously? You didn't just say that."

"Okay, I know how it sounds but it's true. We try so hard not to hurt the people we care about that it's the very thing we wind up doing."

"I've done fine for years on my own."

"Really?" She laughed. "You think you're happier being alone with your soaps, scotch and the piano every night instead of coming home to someone who loves you?" She realized the word love had come out before she could stop it.

He eyed her suspiciously at her use of words but he didn't address it. "You and Wilson are the only two friends I have and I've hurt both of you."

"We've hurt each other. It's all in the past now."

"I can't help but think that if we do this…someone's gonna get hurt, it's just a matter of time."

They sat in silence for a while, both wanting to say things but holding back. Finally Cuddy spoke.

"House, I trust you with my life and with my daughter's life. What does that tell you? "

"It tells me you're an idiot."

"Birds of a feather." She grinned at him and saw the sparkle in his eye that she had missed. They were sitting close and they could feel the electricity between them. He leaned towards her slowly, never taking his eyes off of hers and suddenly she pulled back.

"Listen, I'm gonna go clean up." She gathered up their dishes and glasses and went into the kitchen.

House sighed and rubbed his face in frustration. Were they ever going to be on the same page? Her absence gave him a chance to do some thinking as he ventured over to his piano, took a seat and began playing. His fingers barely touched the keys, taking great care not to wake the toddler who lay sleeping in his bed.

Meanwhile in the small kitchen, Cuddy took her time doing the dishes and putting away the leftovers, and then she made a pot of coffee. She heard the music flowing from the living room and stopped what she was doing, just listening to the melodies flow throughout the apartment. He'd played for her in college and a few times over the years but most of the time he preferred no audience. She knew that he played when he was deep in thought and trying to work through something. She finished what she was doing and took a deep breath, heading back into the living room but when she saw how relaxed he was, his fingers drifting effortlessly over the keys and his eyes closed, occasionally swaying his head to the music, she didn't want to interrupt him so she leaned against the wall enjoying watching him and listening.

House sensed her presence and opened his eyes and motioned to her with his head to come closer. She walked over to the piano and leaned on it as he played. She felt like she was intruding upon his personal space so she turned to go over to the couch.

"Hey," he said.

"Yeah?"

"Come here," he said. He continued to play with his left hand and patted the bench next to him with his right.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." He put his right hand back on the keys and continued to play. As she sat down, he'd switched to something different which captured her attention immediately. She was mesmerized by the melody. It was a mix of classical with an ethnic flair and a modern twist at the end using a song she recognized.

"Is that the _Stones_?"

"Yep and some other things."

"House, that was beautiful, does it have a name?"

"No, it's just something I wrote last year." He lied. He wasn't yet ready to tell her he'd composed a song especially for her. His hands continued to play without missing a single note. When he was finished, he took his hands off the keys and placed them in his lap.

"I love the way you play, I could listen to it all night."

They were sitting so close that their legs were touching. Cuddy rested her left hand on House's right thigh, gently over the area of his infarction. He never took his eyes off of her as he leaned towards her. Cuddy, so completely at ease being so close to him, parted her lips and welcomed his kiss. It was warm and gentle and sweet, full of promise but it seemed as if they were both holding back. They pulled apart after a moment and just stared at one another, a thousand emotions reflected in their eyes.

"Cuddy," House whispered in that low raspy voice she loved. "I need to know what you want."

* * *

I sure as hell thought this chapter was going to be the last but the muse has other plans...LOL


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Still going with this! The muse says it's not over yet and so who am I to argue with the muse? To catch you up here, this story began on Thursday and in this chapter it's Friday night.

* * *

_"I love the way you play, I could listen to it all night."_

_They were sitting so close that their legs were touching. Cuddy rested her left hand on House's right thigh, gently over the area of his infarction. He never took his eyes off of her as he leaned towards her. Cuddy, so completely at ease being so close to him, parted her lips and welcomed his kiss. It was warm and gentle and sweet, full of promise but it seemed as if they were both holding back. They pulled apart after a moment and just stared at one another, a thousand emotions reflected in their eyes._

_"Cuddy," House whispered in that low raspy voice she loved. "I need to know what you want."_

* * *

"House," she whispered. "I want -"

At that moment she was cut off by Rachel's cries coming from House's bedroom. She leaped from the couch and ran to the bedroom and House followed, limping as quickly as he could. They entered and Cuddy rushed over to her and picked her up. Rachel's face was red and her little body was very hot.

"House, she's burning up."

"Let me have her." He reached over and gently took the child from her. He felt her forehead and checked her over. Cuddy was moved by House's care and gentleness. "Could be strep or an ear infection. How was she earlier?"

"She's been fine."

House lay Rachel on the bed and gently felt her lymph nodes. "She feels a little swollen here," he said as he felt her neck. "Check my medicine cabinet; I've got a digital thermometer in there."

Cuddy ran to the bathroom and searched his cabinet, finding the item and bringing it back to him. While Cuddy held Rachel, House inserted the thermometer into the crying child's mouth. Cuddy rocked and hummed to her as they waited, hoping to calm her down. House watched Cuddy comforting Rachel. He'd never told her but he liked the maternal side Rachel brought out in her. When the thermometer beeped, House took it from Rachel's mouth and read it.

"One hundred two point nine," he said, frowning. He noticed the look of panic on Cuddy's face and tried to assure her. "Listen, let's give her some acetaminophen and keep an eye on her. Could be nothing. If it doesn't go away by morning we'll take her in and check her white count okay?"

"I should take her to the hospital," she said as she rocked the crying child.

"Not yet," he said softly. "Listen, right now you're not a doctor, you're a mother. You can't be objective. Let's see if the acetaminophen works first and go from there, okay?"

"Okay, at least I'll take her home."

"Stay here, use my bed."

"We can't do that to you."

"Cuddy, it's late. She's sick and you're tired."

"Where will you sleep?"

"Couch."

"I hate to see you do that, with your leg."

"I'll be fine really," he said.

"Okay," she relented. She actually did feel better knowing he was there with them.

"Mama, I hurt," Rachel mumbled, still crying.

"I'm here baby; you're going to be okay." Cuddy assured her and kissed her on the top of her head. As she did this, her eyes connected with House. They just looked at one another as she tried to comfort Rachel. No words were spoken between them, but none were needed.

House could see the helplessness Cuddy felt as she looked at him. Then he did something she'd never expected to do, he motioned for her to hand Rachel over to him. She hesitated at first but then allowed him to take her.

"I've got her," he said. "Go ahead and get the stuff, it's in the medicine cabinet."

When Cuddy left the room, House sat holding a fussy Rachel. He was rather uncomfortable holding a child but he wanted to reach out to Cuddy especially now when she worried over her sick child. He wanted to show her he'd changed. He looked down at Rachel who was still crying and spoke softly to her while her mother was in the other room.

"You're a pain in the ass you know that? Your mom and I were having a good conversation. Actually it was more than just conversation and then you started screaming. You've got a set of lungs just like her. She's a screamer too though don't tell her I told you that," he said smiling. He had to admit even with her blotchy red face, she was a cute kid. He didn't really dislike kids; he usually disliked their parents because generally the ones he came into contact with at the clinic were idiots.

"House!" Cuddy had entered the room and heard the last half of his one-sided conversation with Rachel.

"What? She's not gonna remember any of this."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and administered the acetaminophen to Rachel as House continued to hold her. Then she pulled down the comforter and sheets and House lay Rachel down among the pillows, tucking them around her to keep her safe. Cuddy lay on the bed with Rachel whispering to her and caressing her hair in an effort to calm her. House stayed with them, sitting in a chair next to the bed until his leg hurt too much and he went into the living room to lie on the couch. Two hours later, when Rachel finally fell asleep, Cuddy crept quietly back into the living room. House lay there on the couch in his boxers, tee shirt and socks. His eyes were closed but he wasn't asleep.

She sat on the coffee table and gently lay her hand on his shoulder. "House?"

He opened his eyes and noticed that Cuddy looked exhausted. "How's she doing?"

"She'd worked herself up into quite frenzy but she's sleeping for now. How bad is it?" She asked pointing to his leg.

"It's throbbing but the patch has it down to about a five," he said as he rubbed his thigh.

A five, she thought. It was a good day for him was when his pain was a five. The thought made her want to cry.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked her voice full of concern.

He shook his head no.

"We never finished our conversation."

"We were a bit distracted."

"Yeah." She looked down at her hands in her lap. "I hate the idea of you sleeping on the couch."

"Not much of a choice considering the lesser Cuddy is sleeping in my bed."

"I could still drive us home."

"No!" He realized it came out more forceful than he intended. In a softer voice he added, "Stay...please."

Cuddy was immediately warmed by his concern for her and Rachel. She had watched him hold Rachel earlier, he had been so gentle with her, as if he truly cared. Cuddy gathered her courage. "I feel better that you're here with us. I know it might just be something minor but still…thanks."

"You're welcome." He stared at the ceiling.

An uncomfortable silence descended on them and unspoken words hung in the air creating tension. Just a few hours earlier, Cuddy been ready to tell him so many things before Rachel's crying interrupted them and now she was worried if they didn't talk soon, he'd put the walls back up and they'd have to start over.

As if House sensed what was on Cuddy's mind, his eyes left the ceiling and looked right at her. His words cut sharply through the silence between them. "Cuddy, are you sure about this? I mean...us? Because once we go there-"

"I know," she interrupted.

"Do you?" Slowly, he sat up to face her and rubbed his leg. "If weeks or months down the road you decide you made a mistake, then what?"

"I won't do that."

"You _don't_ know that."

"I _do_," she insisted.

"_No, you don't_," he restated.

Cuddy stood up from the table and paced the living room thinking. Finally, she turned to him. "House, what do you want from me? I'm doing the _best_ I can. If you don't trust me then it can _never_ work."

"It's not that I don't trust you, I do. But what if I relapse? How would you handle it?"

"Are you worried I'll leave you at the first sign of trouble?"

"You set your standards high, Cuddy."

"I've always set my standards high. My mother constantly reminds me of that."

"Setting your standards high isn't a bad thing; most people set theirs too low." He added, "And don't think this means I agree with your mother."

She raised her eyebrows at him. "I don't know how I'll handle it if you relapse," she admitted.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being honest. There's no way you can know how you would handle it."

"So that's what you wanted to hear?"

"I don't do platitudes, just the truth."

"I didn't want to scare you off."

"You'd scare me off by lying to me," he said.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Listen, you need some rest."

"So do you," she said before she left the room. She returned with a pillow and soft blanket.

"You gonna tuck me in?" He asked, looking up at her with a childlike expression.

"Aren't you a little old for that?" She smiled but her eyes reflected her worries, about Rachel and about them.

"Come here," he said, patting the couch.

Cuddy hesitated at first but the way he looked at her, she couldn't resist. House still had his left leg up on the couch and when she sat down he pulled her to him so that she lay on the couch, her back settled against his chest. When she was in place, he pulled his right leg up around her and she felt safe and completely ensconced in his warmth. He pulled the blanket up and covered them with it, then wrapped his arms around her, feeling her settle comfortably into him.

"House?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"Shut up, Cuddy."

* * *

I can just imagine House and Cuddy curling up together on the couch, him trying to make her feel better and her acknowledging him being caring and compassionate then him telling her to shut up :) It's so them!

Don't forget to let me know what you think about it!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** I planned to get this out earlier this week but I've been so busy. Working on the next chapter of Confession too and it's almost done. I find multi-chapter fics fun but a real challenge! :)_  
_

Thanks to vicpei1 and mystryGAB for their input!

* * *

_"I don't do platitudes, just the truth."_

_"I didn't want to scare you off."_

_"You'd scare me off by lying to me," he said._

_"Sorry."_

_"Don't be. Listen, you need some rest."_

_"So do you," she said before she left the room. She returned with a pillow and soft blanket._

_"You gonna tuck me in?" He asked, looking up at her with a childlike expression._

_"Aren't you a little old for that?" She smiled but her eyes reflected her worries, about Rachel and about them._

_"Come here," he said, patting the couch._

_Cuddy hesitated at first but the way he looked at her, she couldn't resist. House still had his left leg up on the couch and when she sat down he pulled her to him so that she lay on the couch, her back settled against his chest. When she was in place, he pulled his right leg up around her and she felt safe and completely ensconced in his warmth. He pulled the blanket up and covered them with it, then wrapped his arms around her, feeling her settle comfortably into him._

_"House?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Thanks."_

_"Shut up, Cuddy."_

* * *

Two days had passed since House and Cuddy spent the night on his couch. She'd left early that next morning to take Rachel home and had called the hospital and told her assistant she was taking the next few days off to be with Rachel. House had asked her if she needed anything and she promised to call him if she did. House called her once or twice over the course of the next two days but his mind was preoccupied with his latest patient, which turned out to be rather bizarre case. He'd apologized to Cuddy for his lack of contact, but she told him she understood, and she did. Cuddy knew all too well how absorbed House became in his cases. Cuddy divided her time between taking care of Rachel, cleaning her house and working from home. Rachel's fever went up and down, she cried a lot and was very irritable. Cuddy realized it wasn't the flu however there were no signs of anything serious such as meningitis so on the evening of the second day, she decided if Rachel wasn't showing signs of marked improvement by the next morning, she'd take her to the pediatrician. Just after four o'clock in the morning on the third day, there was a loud knock at the door. At first she thought she was dreaming, but then she became alert enough to recognize the tell-tale signs of a cane pounding on her door. Cuddy stumbled out of bed, put on a robe and answered the door.

"Hey, here to check on the sick one," said House cheerfully when she opened the door.

"House, do you know what time it is?" She grumbled.

"I was in the neighborhood. Thought I'd go for an early morning run."

"That'd be great," she yawned. "Except for the fact you can't run."

"Geez, you're a bitch early in the morning."

"Come in, it's cold out there." She opened the door wider to let him in.

"I smell coffee."

"No you don't," she said pulling her robe tight.

"Could I?" He asked hopefully.

"Ass," she groaned as she padded into the kitchen. The outline of her gorgeous ass in that robe did not go unnoticed by House.

"Have you checked on her yet?" He yelled from the living room.

"Not yet given I was _sleeping_," she replied over her shoulder.

House turned and limped down the hall into Rachel's room. He stood next to her crib as he watched her sleeping soundly in just a diaper. He turned on the lamp near the crib, looked down and smiled. _Yep_, he thought, _she's gonna be fine_. At that moment, Cuddy walked in and stood beside him.

"If the fever isn't gone today-" she said.

"Shh..." he interrupted her by placing his fingers over her lips. "Look." House pointed at Rachel and Cuddy bent down to take a closer look. She breathed out a sigh of relief.

_"Roseola."_

"Yep."

"Thank God," she said as she gently put her hand on Rachel's forehead. "Fever's down, now comes the rash."

"I had a feeling. I'm guessing you did too?"

"She didn't have any symptoms of the flu or meningitis and when I checked her ears and throat the other day there was no sign of ear infection or strep. Her lymph nodes were telling, then I went through the list of other things it could be and hoped like hell for a rash."

"Ask and you shall receive," he said. "She'll be fine in a week or so, two at the most. I wonder where she got it."

"I'll need to talk to Marina, last week she took her to a playdate with her nieces. She could have picked it up there," she replied. Then, out of the blue, Cuddy threw her arms around House.

"What? I didn't do anything."

"Actually, you did. Just being here with me." She started to cry. Rachel shifted in her sleep and to avoid waking her House led her out of the room, closing the door halfway before going back into the living room.

"There's no reason to cry, this kind of stuff happens to kids all the time."

"I know,"she said wiping her eyes. "It's just that...you were right...I can't be her mother _and_ her doctor. I can't be objective."

House took a seat on the reclining chair and put his leg up and hung his cane on the arm of the chair. "I told you that you were a good mother. You did the best you could. So stop crying okay? She's gonna be fine."

Cuddy sniffled and chuckled. "Who are you and what have you done with House?" She leaned down and kissed his cheek, lingering there a minute. House closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment.

"How about some breakfast?" She asked.

"For me?"

"No, for the mailman, you idiot."

"Hmm...something you haven't told me?" He asked waggling his eyebrows.

"Stop it." She smacked him on the shoulder. "Since she's still sleeping, I'm gonna shower. You can do..." she waved her hands in the air, "whatever it is you do this early in the morning," then she walked away. A second later she spun around and said, "On second thought...don't." She winked at him and walked down the hall and House was sure that sashay of her hips was for his benefit. He grabbed the remote from the coffee table, turned on the Cartoon Network and made himself at home.

* * *

A few hours later, after breakfast, Cuddy bathed a very fussy Rachel while House was on the phone with his team discussing the necessary treatment for their patient. Once again, his epiphany hit him when he least expected, this time while he was helping Cuddy clear the table. Cuddy of course, thought the timing was quite convenient. He got off the phone just as she entered the living room with a freshly bathed and slightly less irritable child. They sat opposite House on the couch and Rachel stretched her arms out towards him, her fingers grasping at the air, trying to reach for him. Cuddy raised an eyebrow at House, curious at his reaction.

"God, you're as needy as your mother," he said to Rachel, staring at her. Rachel became more alert at he sound of his voice.

"I think she likes you," Cuddy mused.

"She doesn't even know me."

"She likes your voice."

It was true, every time he spoke Rachel would look right at him as if she were mesmerized. Rachel kept grasping at the air, obviously wanting House to hold her. He grumbled a bit but motioned for Cuddy to hand over the child, who was dressed in just a tiny pair of shorts and a light cotton shirt that read "Too cute for words." House shook his head reading the shirt. He held her upright on his good leg and the two stared at one another.

"So...you gonna spit up on me this time?" He asked.

Rachel just watched him curiously.

"You don't say much do you?"

This time Rachel reached one little hand out and placed it on House's mouth.

"Hey, watch that, I don't know where that thing's been." Rachel gigged and started patting the stubble on his face. House was not amused especially when he saw Cuddy laughing at him.

"I wish I had my phone, that'd make a great blackmail shot," she said.

"Woman, there will be no photos of any kind or you will find your panty drawer empty."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, wouldn't I?" House raised his eyebrow to Cuddy letting her know he meant business.

As Rachel made herself at home on House's lap, Cuddy watched with a smile, enjoying the bonding moment between two of her favorite people. House was annoyed with her staring at him.

"What?"

"Nothing."

House thought he'd change the subject. "So...if I recall, the last real conversation we had...I asked you what you wanted."

"You did."

"Have you thought about it?"

"No."

House looked dejected and Cuddy intervened before he got the wrong idea. "Wait, that's not what I meant. I don't need to think about it," she said softly.

House braced himself. He wanted her to say she wanted him. He needed to know she felt the same way about him that he felt about her. But he couldn't put himself out there unless she was willing to do it too.

"After you left med school, and I didn't see you for years, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Even when I dated other guys, I compared them to you. Do you remember when I told you that I hired you because you couldn't get hired at a blood bank?"

"Oh how could I forget? You have such a way with words," he said sarcastically. It bothered him that she hadn't answered the question. At that moment, Rachel started babbling as she reached for House's cane. He didn't mind until she put it in her mouth.

"Woah there munchkin, that's enough of that," he said taking the cane away from her. He placed the cane out of her reach and Cuddy picked Rachel up and took her over to her playpen where she had plenty of toys. She returned to the couch and took a seat again, this time closer to House.

"It wasn't true, at least not completely...the reason I hired you. I hired you in part because I knew you needed the job and I knew that when you immersed yourself into your work, you were positively amazing. I had hoped it would help you recover but..." She paused and took a deep breath and saw House was watching her intently, waiting for her to continue.

"I also hired you because...I had missed you all those years and...even if we couldn't be _together_, I just wanted to be near you." Her face flushed slightly and she looked down.

"Surely you had to regret that at some point, right? What about the times I drove you crazy? What about Vogler? Tritter? Defending me to the Board? All the times you had to put your job on the line to save my ass?"

She twisted her hands together. "I won't lie. There were times you made me so angry that I wished I'd never hired you but when the anger passed I was really glad I didn't fire you. I just kept thinking about what my life would be without you in it and in the end...I wanted you in it."

"My shrink would have a field day with you," he said joking.

"I'm sure." She rolled her eyes at him. "House, you do crazy things, you treat people like crap, and you break the rules and yeah while it annoys the hell out of me...and God knows you'll never let me hear the end of it...I admired you because you were _never_ afraid. You had the balls to risk everything to do the right thing."

"I could've gotten you fired."

"I know it wasn't personal House. I know you'd never intentionally hurt me. I would not have put my job on the line defending you if you weren't worth it."

"So you admit you were just saving your hospital's best _ass_et?"

She leaned forward and put her hand on his arm. "No, it's _more_ than that and we both know it."

House didn't reply immediately, he just looked at her hand, still on his arm. "You underestimate the size of your balls, you know."

Cuddy looked at him puzzled.

"Atlantic was one of your finest moments. You were tough as nails, you stood your ground and you didn't take shit from anyone. What you did..took _balls_ Cuddy. You've got 'em, I've seen them over the years. That hospital wouldn't be where it is if you didn't have the balls to stand up to those bullshit bureaucrats. You did that all on your own."

"Thanks, House. Coming from you that means a lot to me." Cuddy smiled at him. "I never told you this but during the Atlantic mess, it was _you _who gave me the strength I needed to stand my ground."

House stared at her, a look of surprise on his face. "Interesting. I would've thought the boy toy would have been your rock."

She sighed. "_Hardly_. I tried to talk to him about it and he was clueless. He couldn't even offer me any advice. He had no idea how important this deal was to the hospital and to me, no idea what was on the line. You did. _You always do."_

"Call it that brilliant insight you like to keep around."

"You have to know by now that I keep you around for reasons other than that."

"I've said and done a lot of things to hurt you over the years."

"I know. Pain makes people say and do things-"

"Cuddy, don't," he said, interrupting her. "Don't make excuses for me."

"But it's true."

House didn't answer her but his look told her what she needed to know.

"House," she said softly. "I've known you a long time. You've always pushed people away because you are afraid to get too close. You don't have to do that anymore. After all these years, we deserve this. Don't let your pain get in the way of something that could be really great."

House knew she was referring to both his physical _and_ emotional pain. "You could be having a great life with a great guy who is everything you want and need. Are you sure want a relationship with _me_?"

"Crazy isn't it? I should want normal, I should want the fairy tale, but in the end, I'd rather have you."

"That's a compliment, right?"

"Duh," she said, rolling her eyes, smiling at him. "House, _you're_ what I want and need."

That was all House needed to hear. He leaned forward and put his hands on either side of her face, hoping that he could convey to her with actions what was so hard for him to put into words. The kiss began soft, slow, and gentle but soon became passionate and needy as lips melded, tongues danced and hearts raced. In a way, their kiss was a reflection of them and the relationship they'd had over the years that led them to this moment. When they finally parted, they were out of breath. They opened their eyes and stared at one another, smiling. House loved Cuddy's smile and thought it was the most beautiful one he'd ever seen. When Cuddy looked into House's eyes, she saw something she hadn't seen in a very long time and that filled her with great joy. Despite the knowledge that things between them would be tough at times, both seemed to understand that _this_ was where they belonged.

"So...where do we go from here?" He asked, pulling her to him, her head resting on his chest.

Cuddy pondered that thought for a moment and grinned at him.

"I was thinking that we should go out on a date."

Sitting in her playpen across the room, with her eyes focused on the two adults on the couch, Rachel suddenly broke into a fit of giggles and clapped her hands together in approval.

* * *

There you go folks, that's the end! I was going to write another chapter but then after this last line, I realized it worked perfectly with the title of the story, it answers that question, "Where do we go from here?" It was either that or "I think we should move in together" but alas...that would be a wee bit too soon now wouldn't it?

Thanks for all the fic love!


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